Sometimes, you don't get to understand

While I was praying a few nights ago, I finished and asked for direction. "What would you have me do?", I asked. "Stop writing Megan", came the clear response.

...

I started to cry. I didn't understand. "Is this a punishment?", I asked. "No," was my answer.

“Will I be able to write her again soon”, I begged. “Yes.”

"Then WHY?!" ... silence was my answer.

Why would God ask me to do this? Megan is one of the few people that I try and write to often. She's my best friend and I always find comfort and happiness in writing her. I had a package that I was ready to send to her and her birthday was coming up soon. I had planned on doing a cute little something for her and sending her, at LEAST, an email saying happy birthday. Would she think that I’d forgotten her? There would be no way of telling her that I couldn’t write her for a while without being disobedient. Why would God ask me to do this?!

I decided to go to sleep. I was scared and tired. There is relatively little that I really truly desire in this life. And right now, I was being withheld from that. I decided that I would pray again the next day, “just in case” I hadn’t understood the answer I’d received correctly.

The next day I asked similar questions and received the same impressions, the same answers. Only this time, I was more submissive. I thought to myself: “Okay. You’ve poured out your heart unto God regarding Megan many times. He’s answered your prayers for everything else so far. He knows what’s best for you. Maybe, for some strange reason that is unknown to me, this is what needs to happen at the moment. After all, you know this isn’t a punishment. If you follow the counsel you’re given. You will be blessed.”

I decided to obey the direction I was given. And so, as a result, I won’t be writing my best friend this week. But I am posting this message, because she doesn’t know about this site (almost no one does) and so, I know it won’t be defeating the purpose. That way, when the time is right, she will understand.

Megan,
I know I’m early but, Happy Birthday!!! I hope you’re having fun in New York! I have a few things ready to send you as soon as I can.

I think of you often.

I love you!

~Elder Garn